The baby-shopping trap

The emails I look forward to the most, on my happy work-free mornings are the ones that I get from 'deal' sites like Gilt, Ideeli, and Ruelala. I was not prepared for the fact that having a baby opens up a whole new spectrum of consumerism. I will be the first to admit that babies do not have to be expensive. Get their clothes at Once upon a child, cloth-diaper them, let them play with natural toys like trees, plants and bugs. Oh, but those mini pudgy thighs, huge melty eyes, and teeny-tiny fingers are irresistible to shop for! And baby-clothes makers know this well.  They join hands to weave a web of 'discount events' on the internet, the boutique of choice for shoppers (like me) in sleep shirts and pajamas. They hide this clever web behind trap-doors with cute names like zulily.com or totsy.com, and then pour a sticky-sweet coat of words on it, like- delightful, cuddly, ruffles, summer fun, adorable, munchkins...

Suckers like me think we're getting a deal, when really, we spend hundreds on clothes and toys that our babies grow out of in a minute.

Once in a while, in a blinding flash of wisdom I see through this trap and say, "Ha! Better luck next time, evil internet-store!" and slap my laptop shut. Unfortunately, this does not stop me from wanting to see my adorable little munchkin, looking all cuddly while having his summer fun in a delightfully ruffled romper and a beret. And if I cannot have that in person, I must have it on paper!

Life lately

I am Marty the spider.
I say, "Allo. I'm Marty the spider! I'm 'ere to sit on your tummy!", in my secret British accent. My pint-sized infant giggles appreciatively, and politely halts to see if Marty might say anything else. Luckily, he does not know what the British sound like, or what the English language sounds like for that matter. Encouraged by this, brave Marty soldiers on and cons his tiny admirer into believing that he is the colorful prime minister of Britain and loves doing jumping-jacks on babies' heads. Audience is fascinated by Marty and waits for more conversation with the stuffed spider. I, however am tired of holding Marty and cannot think of anything else clever to say, so I excitedly point to an electric outlet, and baby reluctantly looks away.
He will forget about Marty for the rest of the day in exchange for a nap, milk and a bouncy chair. Marty will be back tomorrow- hopefully with fresh lines and new takes on current British living.